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Why I don’t talk much about abused men…
To all the armchair warriors who wonder why I don’t talk as much about abused men, or female porn addicts — let’s imagine that my page is about downhill skiing in Switzerland… 😘More resources from Sarah McDugal:
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You can’t fix his porn addiction. Here’s why:
Porn addiction thrives on deception, manipulation, secrecy, adultery, self-serving, lack of intimacy, confusion, fear of abandonment, emotional disengagement, exploitation… It not only thrives on these, it drives them and cultivates them in a marriage. These elements are the opposite of godly love, honor, protection, respect, and cherishing of one’s spouse.His addiction to pornography was not caused by you as his wife, and it absolutely cannot be fixed by you, as his wife.
Porn addiction cannot be fixed in couples counseling.
Or co-dependency counseling.
Or anger management classes.There is nothing you as his wife can do to make him less addicted, or unaddicted. There is no version of yourself that can successfully compete with, or win out over, the images and videos on a screen.
That’s not how addiction works.
Full Article:
https://sarahmcdugal.com/you-cant-fix-his-porn-addiction/More resources from Sarah McDugal:
http://wildernesstowild.comFind me on social:
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Trauma anniversaries—when your body remembers what your brain forgot
Trauma anniversaries—when your body remembers what your brain forgot… and how to deal with them…Edited to add:
None of us on this path are immune to these seasons. We do get better and better at handling it.I’ve got most of my trauma anniversaries mapped. What sideswiped me this time, was that this is a fresh one.
And I honestly didn’t think of the onset of violent illness after chemo as a “trauma”. I mean, I’ve been through way worse, right? I just figured it was something I got through and moved on from.
Yesterday, my husband asked me, “why are you so grumpy?”
Me: no I’m NOT. I’M FINE.
Him: um. No. You’re not.
I was super irritated at him for thinking I was grumpy. Lol. But I did admit to myself that I felt off. Even a long nap didn’t help.
This morning I was majorly on edge.
This afternoon, he says “one year ago today is when you started throwing up…”
I collapsed, sobbing.
Hands over my face.
Ugly crying. 😭“That’s IT! THAT’S WHAT’S WRONG!”
So I put it in my calendar already for next year.
#traumarecovery #healingjourney
*****
More resources from Sarah McDugal:
http://wildernesstowild.comFind me on social:
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Is the church causing abusive marriages and scandals?
Is the church actually CAUSING abusive marriages and infidelity scandals, by how we teach on relationships, and marriage? Have we created a culture of toxic evangelical sex?Join me for coffee and conversation with bestselling author Sheila Wray Gregoire, as we talk about her new book The Great Sex Rescue, here:
https://www.wildernesstowild.com/great-sex-rescue-coffee-convoConnect with Sarah McDugal to learn more:
http://wildernesstoWILD.com © 2021
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Forgive and forget? It’s all lies.
Is your pastor is doing the devil’s work?Why rushed reconciliation, forgive and forget, and short-circuiting repentance accountability — is perpetuating Satan’s first lie and empowering abusers to stay abusive.
#forgiveness #churchtoo #theology
More resources on Abuse Recovery from Sarah McDugal:
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What post-trauma healing looks like
What genuine post-traumatic growth and healing looks like:
– taking responsibility
– being willing to listen
– giving the other person freedom
– continuing to work on yourself.More resources from Sarah McDugal:
http://wildernesstowild.comFind me on social:
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Modesty. Does. Not. Stop. Rape.
Modesty. Does. Not. Stop. Rape… Y’all.Especially when we are talking about little children.
Do men and boys get assaulted because “their cleavage is hanging out” or “their shorts were too short”?
Yea… neither do women.It isn’t the modeling and teaching of modesty that “fuels the problem of rape or sexual perversion”. It’s the idolization of modesty as a way to prevent rape or sexual perversion that is so endemically problematic.
We’ve idolized modesty so much in the faith community, that we’re blinded to the fact that modesty does NOTHING to protect you from sexual assault.
Your child’s wardrobe is not a rape-prevention plan. Full stop.
Hold me back…. 🔥🔥🔥
More resources on Abuse Recovery from Sarah McDugal:
http://www.wildernesstowild.comFind me on social:
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http://Instagram.com/sarahmcdugal
http://Instagram.com/livewildgirl -
#JesusBubble | Redeeming Power 42
TOPIC: the postlude, the killing fields, why NOT me?…. last episode in this series 💜Devotional thoughts, first thing in the morning, reading through “Redeeming Power: Understanding Authority and Abuse in the Church” by Diane Langberg.
(Wanna scribble in the margins of your own copy? Get it here: https://amzn.to/3gYxsUJ)
More resources on Abuse Recovery from Sarah McDugal:
http://wildernesstowild.com -
#JesusBubble | Redeeming Power 41
#JesusBubble | Redeeming Power 41
TOPIC: suffering and God’s heart, hope in the valley of troubleDevotional thoughts, first thing in the morning, reading through “Redeeming Power: Understanding Authority and Abuse in the Church” by Diane Langberg.
(Wanna scribble in the margins of your own copy? Get it here: https://amzn.to/3gYxsUJ)
More resources on Abuse Recovery from Sarah McDugal:
http://wildernesstowild.com -
Into the Light: Dealing With Sexual Predators in Church
When church people, members OR leaders, focus on power instead of servanthood — whether in our marriages, in our classes, in our small groups, or in our congregation and community at large — we perpetuate an atmosphere that makes abuse thrive.1/30/2021
Connect with Sarah McDugal to learn more:
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#claritychats | Why Strong-willed Doesn’t Equal Strength
Are you strong willed or weak willed?
What is REAL strength?
How can you tell the difference?Tips to help you reframe your perspective on strong willed impulsivity, and to help your strong-willed child develop actual strength of will.
More resources on Abuse Recovery from Sarah McDugal:
http://wildernesstowild.comFind me on social:
http://Facebook.com/sarahmcdugalauthor
http://Instagram.com/sarahmcdugal
http://Instagram.com/livewildgirl -
#JesusBubble | Redeeming Power 39
TOPIC: the power of humility, the power of love, listening to the voice of God as our HeadDevotional thoughts, first thing in the morning, reading through “Redeeming Power: Understanding Authority and Abuse in the Church” by Diane Langberg.
(Wanna scribble in the margins of your own copy? Get it here: https://amzn.to/3gYxsUJ)
More resources on Abuse Recovery from Sarah McDugal:
http://wildernesstowild.com