We all wonder just how best to introduce that conversation to our kids, the one about sex… how young is too young? How long is waiting too long? How much do I say? Where should I start?
Teaching the birds and the bees shouldn’t have to be a traumatic experience for anyone involved. And in today’s world, if mom and dad don’t discuss sex, pornography, marriage, addiction — then your kiddos are going to just get their education somewhere else. School, church, TV, movies, playdates, or God forbid… the internet.
You can take control of the process and make sure your children have a healthy, biblical, loving, age-appropriate, and safe understanding of sex. You can also beat society to the punch and explain pornography and addiction before your child is accidentally or intentionally exposed without any tools to process the information.
Having healthy age-appropriate conversations about sex is the foundation for on-going discussions with your kids as they grow older and have deeper, more detailed questions about the experiences they face.
Last but not least, intentional and pro-active education lays the foundation for children to know what to do if they ever encounter unsafe touch, or even have a friend who discloses sexual abuse. Openness is the path to increased safety and transparency.
My Top 5 Picks for “The Talk”
God Made All of Me: A Book to Help Children Protect Their Bodies || Ages 2-8, by Justin and Lindsay Holcomb
God Made All of Me is a simply-told, beautifully-illustrated story to help families talk about these sensitive issues with two- to eight-year-old children. Because the private parts of our bodies are private, the home is the ideal environment where a child should learn about his or her body and how it should be treated by others.
Sex Education – Story of Me Series
The Story of Me (God’s Design for Sex, Book 1) || Ages 3-5, by Brenna and Stan Jones
Using age-appropriate language and illustrations, this book explains to young children the marvelous body God gave them.
Before I Was Born
Before I Was Born (God’s Design for Sex, Book 2) || Ages 5-8, by Carolyn Nystrom
Before I Was Born explains in age-appropriate language the basic nature of sexual intercourse between a husband and wife and discusses conception, fetal development, childbirth, and breastfeeding.
What’s the Big Deal?: Why God Cares About Sex
What’s the Big Deal?: Why God Cares About Sex (God’s Design for Sex, Book 3) || Ages 8-11, by Stan Jones
What’s the Big Deal? helps kids find answers to their questions about sex. It explains the basic facts about sex, why God made adults so they want to have sex, what God says about sex in the Bible, and how to respond when faced with sexual pressure from peers, TV, movies, and magazines.
Sex Education – The Talk Series
The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality || Ages 6-10, by Luke Gilkerson
When it comes to the matter of teaching kids about sex, Christian parents are often confused about what to say and when to say it. The Talk is a series of 7 studies, all anchored in the Scriptures, that helps parents to talk meaningfully with children about sexuality.
Changes: 7 Biblical Lessons to Make Sense of Puberty || Ages 8-12, by Luke & Trisha Gilkerson
Acne. Pubic hair. Breasts. Squeaky voices. Menstruation. Nocturnal emissions. Make no mistake, puberty can feel like an awkward time in a child’s life. But with the right perspective, children can be taught to anticipate puberty as a blessing. Changes is a series of 7 studies, anchored in the Scriptures, that helps parents talk meaningfully with children about the mental, emotional, and physical changes puberty brings.
Pornography & Addiction
Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids || Ages 6-12, by Kristen A Jenson & Gail Poyner
Parents will appreciate this resource to porn-proof their kids because it makes a difficult discussion easy and empowering. How? By teaching kids simple concepts about the brain and the process of addiction, and by giving them a specific strategy for keeping safe from the poison of pornography. Many parents also use this book as a powerful tool for sexual abuse prevention!
The 5-point CAN DO Plan teaches kids how to avoid the brain-warping images of pornography and minimize the troubling memories of accidental exposure that often tempt kids to look for more and lead them into a dark and destructive addiction. To stay safe in the digital age, kids must install an internal filter in their own brain. Good Pictures Bad Pictures shows them how.
Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr.: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds || Ages 3-6, by Kristen A Jenson
Young children deserve to be armed early against internet dangers. Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr. makes it easy for parents to protect their young kids ages 3 to 6. Using gentle, age-appropriate messages, children will learn to Turn, Run & Tell when they are accidentally exposed to inappropriate content.
Sexual Abuse and Predator Awareness
One of my favorite resources for helping children gently and safely learn how to protect themselves from sexual abuse is the Heart Defender series from Safe Hearts at Damsel. These terrific books are available through Damsel’s distributors, and I’ve been thoroughly impressed with how well the books address a wide variety of types of possible abuse situations.
Safe Hearts website says:
When it comes to protecting our children, certain conversations are easy and even natural to have. “Stranger Danger” is a term we all know. What is much harder to address are the dangers that could be lurking from those around us whom our children love. Did you know that 95 percent of molested children know their molesters? This is just one of many staggering statistics we are fighting everyday.
I am not a Damsel distributor, nor do I have any affiliation with any of the publishers or authors of these books. I’m sharing these resources because I’ve found them to be the best, most thorough, and faith-based materials for various ages.